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The Desolate Rose by ~TheSundowner:iconTheSundowner:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Human Nature > Open




Where is the soil
to feed my veins
and pollen winds
to soak my soul
Beneath the layers
of thick macadam
I shed my reds
and wait in vain
©2005-2009 ~TheSundowner
:iconthesundowner:

Author's Comments

For when we forget about paradise

a short

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconvioletindigo:
!violetindigo Aug 7, 2005, 6:27:32 PM
this is so beautiful. and i love it how you can create this in 8 lines.... you can write pages on this....

great job!
:iconlivingbyair:
=livingbyair Aug 7, 2005, 9:12:17 PM
tight. tight in the way a dieing gasp is brief. I like it.
:iconthesundowner:
~TheSundowner Aug 7, 2005, 11:12:40 PM
Thank you
means alot

:)
:iconjulyshelied:
!julyshelied Aug 8, 2005, 8:58:43 AM
oh I love such themes I eat them up and write the same poem over and over I like it so much, sort of a tragic, terrible bit of nature blooming bruises etc etc

yeah, I get excited about this sort of thing. VERY nice, and I'm glad it's short... rambles would ruin it. dainty and poised like the subject, slow-sad and kind of feeling like "save me". .. dig? she digs. thanks for writing this!

--
Come down to my room
I was thinking about you
and made a pass at myself
:iconthesundowner:
~TheSundowner Aug 8, 2005, 9:27:19 AM
Correctamundo

WOW what a fantastic comment, in depth and spot on

thank you so much
:iconretrozombie:
`RetroZombie Aug 8, 2005, 4:38:55 PM
"and wait in vain" - that one line at the end collects all the images of this poem and casts them into a bitter cold wind blowing through a barren, ruined landscape of perpetual twilight.
At least that's what I see...

--
玉: 我的天使 ♥
Always look on the bright side... there's more light there and it's easier to find stuff.
:iconfredfree:
=fredfree Aug 8, 2005, 4:42:57 PM
i enjoyed this.
my veins and in vain. and thick macadam.
wow.

--
Ff
:icondark-oblivion2:
~dark-oblivion2 Aug 8, 2005, 5:00:37 PM
it drifts along, like a leaf floating through rapids: just hovering, waiting to fall under, but yet it still has such a small hope to survive it all.

so lovely. such a lonely glimpse...

i love the brevity too. fits perfectly with the subject matter.

:heart: :+fav:
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August 7, 2005
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